Nothing was accomplished other then I did my makeup for the first time in ages, read a bit more of Legend, and I started a new candle. I am loosing my mind and Just kinda want to do nothing but sleep all day. My Tik Tok obsession grows stronger and I think I’m just going to go to bed. Sleep is the only comfort I have right now.
Good Evening! The yesterday and today have not been great motivation wise. I made a schedule yesterday that I hoped to start today, but that did not happen whatsoever. I spent most of today on Tik Tok (really its an addiction at this point) and I ended up taking a 4 hour nap today. I fell unmotivated and disinterested in everything lately and its not great. I am falling into my depression routine hard and I really don’t want to go back there again. Since I didn’t wake up from my nap till like 9pm I think I am going to try and reset my sleep and get somethings done. I have always tended to be more productive at night. Hopefully this goes well.
We made it a whole week! I am slightly losing it and I am most definitely missing the structure (and paycheck) work provided. I get my last paycheck for the foreseeable future tomorrow which is arguably really scary and stressful. I almost had my fucking shit together before all of this. I was three paychecks away from having all my debt payed off and I was doing well in school. I was this close I tell you and then BAM global pandemic and stock market crash. I have just lost all my motivation. I just done want to do anything but eat and there is no food in my house (well I mean there is but I am not much of a cook so there is that, but there are definitely no snacks.) Its going to be okay though! Its all going to be okay. This will hopefully blow over in a few weeks, maybe a month or two, and everyone will be able to get back to work and it will all be okay.
I Was semi-productive yesterday. I did my laundry, washed my sheets, bathed Charlie, and vacuumed. Last night was a completely different story though. I haven’t had insomnia that bad in a very very long time. I didn’t got to sleep till nearly 5 am! Its my number one tell that I am going down hill is when I cant sleep to save my life. I need to find away to inject structure into my life. Cause I don’t even want to know what happens if I don’t. I didn’t study or read, but I swear on all that is holy I will so it today. I also suggested bringing back Family Movie Night because we are all stuck in the house together so might as well so that’s tonight. We are going to watch Jumanji: The Next Level and I am pretty excited about it.
Good Morning or I guess at this point Good Afternoon. I have actually been up since about 10ish today and I have managed to break up the routine a bit. I gave my puppy, Charlie, a bath and I went to the grocery store cause we are in desperate need of milk. Yesterday I accomplished absolutely nothing I literally only left my bed for food and to use the bathroom I caught up on some shows and spent a good amount of time on my phone. I am going to accomplish things today! I need to accomplish things today.
I have stripped my bed so I can’t lay in all day and also to wash the sheets cause they really need it. I am going to finish my laundry and I am going to read and study. I have my biology test tomorrow and I do need a good grade on it. I got this!
Good Morning, Lovelies! I simultaneously can’t believe its already day 5 and only day 5 at the same time. I was actually able to get a chapter of Biology read yesterday and while I didn’t finish my book I did get some of it read. I even went to bed before midnight and woke up at 8 am today which is really nice. Starting to feel a bit more on track then I have in the past couple of days.
Today’s plan is pretty much yesterdays plan. I have about 42 pages of reading I need to get done across three different subjects and i would also like to finish Love & Luck and get a good way in Legend. I also only have a few hours left in my audiobook so maybe I could finish that today or tomorrow, we shall see. But first is is time to wash my face and have some breakfast.
Good Morning! So yesterday was not as productive as I would have liked it to be. I did read 100 pages of my book, but other then that I facetimed my friend and watched The Voice for most of the day. I did learn how to make meatloaf though. Last night was pretty terrible though. I had such bad insomnia and I felt a bit manic like I had to be doing something so I didn’t get to bed till nearly 3:30 am which caused me to not wake up till nearly noon. Which is most definitely not what I planed at all.
I will be productive today! I have to be I have a test at the end of this week that I really need to do great in. I also will finish my book because its getting pretty good! Today will be productive and good. Now I am going to get some coffee and maybe some food!
Good Morning! or I guess afternoon at this point. I have been pretty consistent about waking up around 11 everyday, but I really want to be waking up around 8 or 9 so I am going to try and get myself to sleep earlier tonight. I was successful in getting all 569 of my books organized, but they are not exactly how i would like them. Two of my shelves broke and even with those two I don’t really have the room for all of them so I have stacks everywhere, but at least everything is now clean and organized. I also took a shower for those of you wondering. I feel much better and I am ready to get some food and coffee.
Today’s game plan consist of studying and getting ready for school to start up again tomorrow. I also really want to finish my book today possibly. If i finish three books by the 30th I will have beaten my previous most read books in a month by one which is really cool, but school is going to be my first priority. Wish me luck! also don’t forget to wash your hands.
Good Morning! Yesterday was very productive. I got all my clothes and makeup cleaned out and facetimed two of my friends. I got all my bookshelves cleaned out and the books separated, but I only have the black books re-shelved. Charlie, my puppy, was not happy when she came to bed last night. She sleeps in my room and there are kinda books everywhere.
I do feel myself slipping from my normal routines though which is not good. I am waking up later and I haven’t showered in two days, gross i know, but I am going to try and get myself back on track today. Once everything is clean I will have a bit more “freedom” so I can get myself back on track. Hopefully I can finish my book and study a bit in addition to finishing up my books.
Good Morning! It is March 20, 2020 and it is my first day of self quarantine due to COVID-19. Up until this point I was still going to work and interacting with the general public, but yesterday my store decided to close down indefinitely. So I am now officially out of a job for the foreseeable future and can practice self isolation and social distancing as the CDC recommends. Its a very strange feeling not having to go to work when I know I normally would be going to work. I have some plans on hopefully keeping my mental health above water and making sure I don’t go absolutely insane during the next two to six weeks (at least I really hop its not longer then six weeks.)
So far today I have woken up at the somewhat decent hour of 11 am. I had some trouble getting to sleep last night so I decided to be somewhat proactive and get a jump on my days todo list. I was able to clean out my hanging clothes (my shirts, dresses, hoodies, ect.) and I am getting rid of 48 articles of clothing and I cleaned my desk and cleaned it out a bit. Today’s todo list for the rest of the day is: finish cleaning out my closet and to reorganize all my books and study a bit.
Welcome back to Midnight Musings! It’s almost 5AM and I haven’t slept. Is probably a combination of the fact that my shitty job has seriously fucked my sleep schedule, thankfully i am going to be quitting very soon, and the fact that I can’t stop thinking. The sad thing is that its about a boy that has completely ghosted me. Really I should take a hint, right? Like obviously he doesn’t want to talk to you so you should just let it go, but you see the thing is I was really vulnerable with this guy and told him how I felt and he was like I just want to be friends and that was a 100% okay with me cause I really like talking to him and being his friend. I even told him why I took me so long to tell him because I have told male friends that I like them in the past and they always cut me out after I tell them and he said he didn’t plan on doing that to me. Well shocker of all shockers I guess he plans on it now it really fucking hurts. Fuck feelings they get me nothing and no where, well they bring me pain. I need to let it all go. I need to forget it and not worry about and I will. Once the deadline has passed I won’t spear it one more thought. God I though he was different. I wanted him to be different. Best part is I know he has the link to my blog. I wonder if her reads it? I wonder if he will see this? If he does know that I don’t appreciate being ghosted and if something is going on with you that caused you to ghost me then you can talk to me and if you ghosted me just because you didn’t want to deal with me or be my friend anymore or my feelings scared you then fuck you you’re a coward and not the person I thought and hoped you were. In other news I have a job interview in 5 1/2 hours so wish me luck with that. I’m going to crawl into bed and try to get at least 2 or 3 hours of sleep.
The Ethereal Journey 