We made it a whole week! I am slightly losing it and I am most definitely missing the structure (and paycheck) work provided. I get my last paycheck for the foreseeable future tomorrow which is arguably really scary and stressful. I almost had my fucking shit together before all of this. I was three paychecks away from having all my debt payed off and I was doing well in school. I was this close I tell you and then BAM global pandemic and stock market crash. I have just lost all my motivation. I just done want to do anything but eat and there is no food in my house (well I mean there is but I am not much of a cook so there is that, but there are definitely no snacks.) Its going to be okay though! Its all going to be okay. This will hopefully blow over in a few weeks, maybe a month or two, and everyone will be able to get back to work and it will all be okay.
I Was semi-productive yesterday. I did my laundry, washed my sheets, bathed Charlie, and vacuumed. Last night was a completely different story though. I haven’t had insomnia that bad in a very very long time. I didn’t got to sleep till nearly 5 am! Its my number one tell that I am going down hill is when I cant sleep to save my life. I need to find away to inject structure into my life. Cause I don’t even want to know what happens if I don’t. I didn’t study or read, but I swear on all that is holy I will so it today. I also suggested bringing back Family Movie Night because we are all stuck in the house together so might as well so that’s tonight. We are going to watch Jumanji: The Next Level and I am pretty excited about it.