My name is Jacqueline and about a year ago I was diagnosed with slow cycling Bipolar Disorder II, which is basically the same as Bipolar Disorder except that I don’t experience the manic episodes but I still experiance Hypomania and major depression. Hypomania is just elevated mood it’s just not as severe as mania. The slow cycling part just means that instead of my mood changing multiple times a day or week it changes every 6 to 8 months. The longest cycle I ever had lasted for 18 months before I come into an up swing. I would very much like to say that it is under control and that I am handling it, but that would be a lie. At this point of in my life it controls me and I want to fix that. I want to find myself again and I am going to use this blog to document that journey.
For a very long time I have done things for other people. I have dropped everything to help friends in need, I have stressed myslef out trying to be the daughter I thought my parents would want, I have bent over backwards trying to please every one around me. I give everything I have to others, which leaves me with nothing. So I have finally decided to take my own advice and put myself first. This year, 2017, is going to be the year of self love. I am going to do everything I can for me. I am going to take myself on dates, I am going to give myself compliments, I am going to stop being so hard on myself. This year I am going to find me and I am going to love her.