Midnight Musings #2

Welcome back to Midnight Musings! It’s almost 5AM and I haven’t slept. Is probably a combination of the fact that my shitty job has seriously fucked my sleep schedule, thankfully i am going to be quitting very soon, and the fact that I can’t stop thinking. The sad thing is that its about a boy that has completely ghosted me. Really I should take a hint, right? Like obviously he doesn’t want to talk to you so you should just let it go, but you see the thing is I was really vulnerable with this guy and told him how I felt and he was like I just want to be friends and that was a 100% okay with me cause I really like talking to him and being his friend. I even told him why I took me so long to tell him because I have told male friends that I like them in the past and they always cut me out after I tell them and he said he didn’t plan on doing that to me. Well shocker of all shockers I guess he plans on it now it really fucking hurts. Fuck feelings they get me nothing and no where, well they bring me pain. I need to let it all go. I need to forget it and not worry about and I will. Once the deadline has passed I won’t spear it one more thought. God I though he was different. I wanted him to be different. Best part is I know he has the link to my blog. I wonder if her reads it? I wonder if he will see this? If he does know that I don’t appreciate being ghosted and if something is going on with you that caused you to ghost me then you can talk to me and if you ghosted me just because you didn’t want to deal with me or be my friend anymore or my feelings scared you then fuck you you’re a coward and not the person I thought and hoped you were. In other news I have a job interview in 5 1/2 hours so wish me luck with that. I’m going to crawl into bed and try to get at least 2 or 3 hours of sleep.

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